February 1996/March 2007
The story of this incident involving a Microsoft email
group is more fully told in
Chapter 13 of Mystic Microsoft.
Here I offer some of the emails exchanged as well as the piece I
sent to the group (written February 1996) after the inversion of the situation
took place.
That email, in fact, was the genesis for Mystic Microsoft
itself. A few years later, in 1998, I wanted to apply the same principle of
putting out positive energy in the face of a negative situation. I thought of
this piece and thought to rewrite it on the theme of “You can’t beat out the
darkness with a stick,” one of Paramhansa Yogananda’s most colorful sayings.
However, the rewrite was more difficult than I expected,
and the article refused to cooperate. After several attempts, I took the
question into one of my morning meditations and prayed for clarity on the
project. In a wonderful moment of clarity, how I needed to rewrite the piece
appeared fully in my mind, and that’s what became the chapter in the book.
Then, in the next moment, as I marveled at how an
incident I experienced at Microsoft could have such deep spiritual meaning, I
suddenly realized that every major circumstance of my entire career also had
such significance! Over the next ten days I wrote out the first draft of Mystic
Microsoft….
During the latter years of my Microsoft career, I belonged
to a large email discussion group focused on personal growth and spiritual
matters. Often people would ask for advice or for recommendations for services
with a particular quality in mind.
It happened one day that someone asked for a recommendation
for a good divorce lawyer:
From: WB
To: SOC Personal Growth Club (soleil)
Subject: Divorce Lawyer recommendation?
Can anyone recommend a divorce lawyer who knows about dealing
with MS [Microsoft] stock options? The couple involved don't want to have to
cash in the options for the non-MS partner.
Please reply to me only & I will compile (removing all
identifying information).
People began responding to the sender as usual. But then
one person, just one person, turned the energy of compassion and
assistance into a negative tirade, speaking not to the sender in private but
announcing his feelings to the whole group:
From: SF
To: SOC Personal Growth Club
Subject: RE: Divorce Lawyer recommendation?
I don't think this belongs on Personal Growth alias. Please
grow and avoid divorce at all costs!!!!! Divorce is unhealthy for society.
Please don't compile!
At Microsoft, many people live on email, and within minutes
additional responses began to appear condemning or condoning this first
respondent (SF). For example:
From: CS
I totally disagree with you. Divorce is not a pleasant
subject, but I think it's much better to get a divorce than stay in an unhealthy
marriage. Divorce can be a growth, same as marriage.
Which, of course, opened the floodgates. Negativity spreads
like wildfire, especially on an email system that approaches real-time
conversation!
From: SF
those people who divorce probably shouldn't have gotten
married in the first place - divorce is totally unacceptable, self-centered, and
anti-social in my eyes. It has destroyed countless children and many adults'
outlook on life. Marriage is not something anyone should jump into without an
intense and truthful look into themselves. Divorce is not a solution to anything
it is the cause of more problems!
Please don't even bother trying to tell me I'm wrong - I'm
already convinced. I have turned down marriage twice, and then proceeded to
watch all my friends get divorced and cynical - and watch their children become
insolent and detached.
The responses too degenerated significantly, with thoughts
like this:
From: SF
Subject: this group sucks!
Should be called Personal Growth/Decay
As the battle raged, I remember coming very close to
getting involved myself by shouting a few opinions on the matter. Fortunately, I
had started making a serious personal effort toward even-mindedness and
controlling my reactions, for unchecked emotional reactions, as those I was
witnessing, are a sure recipe for suffering.
Even without responding, the whole situation made me feel
filthy, as though someone had smeared the sludge of negativity all over me. The
direction of the energy in this situation was spiraling to hell rather quickly
and I could feel that I was being carried along.
Then I remembered another important spiritual principle,
that the way out of a negative vortex is not to ignore or suppress the energy,
but to turn it around and redirect it upwards—to turn a negative into a
positive. Toward this end, I spent a little time reading through all the
positive and uplifting thoughts I’d saved from the email group over the years.
As I enjoyed this renewal of inspiration, the email battle
still raged on. I knew many others were suffering—the group had four hundred
members!—and wanted to help. Something was needed—some love, some calmness. So I
pulled together a few thoughts and stories in a new email message. With some
trepidation (will people turn their anger on me?) I sent this message:
From: Kraig Brockschmidt
Sent: Thursday, February 01, 1996 12:23 PM
Subject: Bringing us back to center...
Time and time again, words that appear on SOLEIL [the internal
name of the email group] have had the power to drastically affect those who read
them. Recently an outpouring of love regarding an accidentally broadcast message
made the back cover of Micronews. Negative words can also have tremendous
effect, and on this alias can sour a day for hundreds of people. This mail is my
own personal attempt to turn anger into love.
In light of the recent exchange on this alias, I'd like to
share a few pieces I've picked and saved up from the last three years, hopefully
in order to bring us back to that stable center where we can love, respond, and
learn from each other, in the spirit of SOLEIL: Sharing Our Life Experiences Is
Loving.
My love to everyone.
-------
From Marie-Dominique Ellis (Founder of Soleil) 7/1/93
Be compassionate!
Allow people to be who they are!
Allow people to express what they think!
Allow yourself to not take things personally!
If someone does not play the game
According to the rules
Let's give them the rules
Instead of raising our fists
------
From CJ, 11/22/93, Dealing with Anger
"Two rich sheiks who didn't know each other were tooling
around in their cars on the desert. One had a Mercedes and the other a Rolls.
There wasn't another car within miles. Nevertheless, they smacked into each
other. After sitting dazed for a few seconds, they both got out of their cars
and ran toward each other and embraced. "Allah, be praised," they said, "for
allowing this to happen so that we could meet!"
Contrary to what we've been taught, venting anger is not good
for you, because it creates more anger, which ultimately damages our bodies. I
thought about this today, driving over 520. The roads were not too bad, but
drivers were doing stupid things, like braking on bridges and slowing down to
gape at fender benders. Being in touch with my body, I felt my neck muscles
tighten up, and said, "Whoa, boy. Simmer down, you'll get there." So I used the
extra time to notice the beauty of the snowscape, and soon the anger
evaporated."
-----
From WP 12/14/94:
"I remember watching an episode of the children's show "Sesame
Street". During this one section, Oscar the grouch was trying to make everyone's
holidays miserable. First he tried spreading ashes on the new fresh snow in
front of his trash can. But people thanked him for making the walkway less
slippery. Then he tried giving a present of a comb to the bald man Gordon. But
again he was thanked as the gift could be used to comb his mustache. No matter
how Oscar the grouch tried to spread his grumpiness around, it turned out making
people happy.
Today let's realize that many misfortunes or negative actions
are indeed blessings in disguise, that denial of a reality frequently draws it
to us even when we try otherwise, and that, like the "Everything I Need to Know
I Learned in Kindergarten" books, frequently enlightening spiritual truths can
be found in "ordinary" or simple environments."
--------
And a few other quotes...
----------
If you don't like the signals you're receiving, check the
signals you're sending...
--[DB]
------------
Nothing greater can happen to a human being than when he or
she is forgiven. For forgiveness means reconciliation in spite of estrangement;
it means reunion in spite of hostility; it means acceptance of those who are
unacceptable; and it means reception of those who are rejected.
Forgiveness is unconditional, or it is not forgiveness at
all. Forgiveness has the character of "in spite of," but the righteous ones give
it the character of "because". Sinners (in the scriptures) however, cannot do
this. They cannot transform the divine "in spite of" into a human "because" of
which they must be forgiven. If forgiveness were conditional, conditioned by
humans, no one could be accepted, and no one could accept themselves.
Paul Tillich, Best Sermons, "To Whom Much Is Forgiven"
1995.
-----------
SUCCESS
To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others;
to leave the world a bit better,
whether by a healthy child,
a garden patch or
a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life has breathed easier because you have
lived.
This is to have succeeded
--Ralph Waldo Emerson
While I had feared a negative backlash, what I experienced
was the complete opposite. Whereas my email inbox had been filling up with
messages of anger, now they became flooded with these, some to me personally,
others sent to the entire group:
JW: Thank you for doing this!
JP: thanks for taking the time...
KD: Thanks, Kraig! Your message was
very helpful. : )
WW: Thanks! This was great.
GC: THANK YOU, Thank You, thank you!
MAM: Thank you Kraig. I chose to
dismiss the mail that recently came out, but it did kind of leave me feeling a
bit negative. This made me smile, and did exactly as you intended! :-)
JK: Thank you....!
SB: Thank you. You saved me from
sending a very angry flame to this person. Flames were issuing from my fingers
as I typed!! It was all typed and ready to go then I thought I'd better cool
off, and that's when your mail came in. The flames have been extinguished :-)
HA: thank you for reminding me why I am
on this alias!!
LFD: thanks!
JC: Thanks, these were helpful and
brightened my day :)
AB: As this is my second day on the
alias I would like to really thank you for the positive input! Your compilation
is a perfect reminder for everyone of what is really at the core of everything.
Anyway, have a great day.
MP: Wow. Thank you. I'm very new to
this alias. Someone suggested I join this after I attended Context's, Pursuit,
The Wall, and The Advancement courses. I have exactly been sure what to think.
To see you write such incredibly technical books [referring to Inside OLE]
and be able to express and articulate emotional content as well as you can
express technical content really means a lot to me. It's something I work on
every day. It's nice to see examples of such honest and open love expressed by
someone I really respect who's "out there" on the front lines with our
customers. Thank you so much for the time you took to share below. Know that it
touched at least one person. Thanks!
DS: Thank you Kraig !!
I rarely have
time to read the mailings and most of the time I enjoy what I do read. I was
bummed when I seen someone disliked what comes on-line from those trying to
share a little something with the rest of us. I think that most of us find value
in what is being said here.
If what is
sent on this alias makes even one persons day brighter or more joyous than the
contribution was worthwhile and meaningful.
Agreeing with
Kraig, I did not like to see the negativity of that earlier piece of mail, but
his response seemed to put things back into perspective.
NS: You're an angel!!!!!
SL: Thanks so much for this, Kraig.
This is what I thought this alias was about, not about judging someone else's
personal journey. This doesn't feel like a very safe place to be sharing
*anything* personal anymore, growth, or otherwise.
KK: I guess I'm lucky..... I've been so
busy today that I have been deleting all email not work-related so I have missed
whatever it was to create such a stir............... Maybe I should go back and
read my wastebasket mail!!!!!!!
RO: I especially like the RWE quote,
this is what I aspire to. Not that I'm a perfectionist (and I regard this as a
really significant fault-like quality), but I'm not there yet. I appreciate what
you've done here, for the alias.
DB: I was a bit shocked - not to
mention quite honored - to see my thoughts included in your "best of soleil"
message. Thanks for the smile you bought to my face. P.S. feel free to quote me
in the next rev of your book <g>....
AW: thank you! :)
These were but the immediate responses. More continued to
arrive over the afternoon and throughout the evening. When I came into work the
next morning, I was literally overwhelmed to tears as I realized the true
extent, and the true power, of a few positive thoughts to drive away darkness. A
few minutes later, I wrote and sent this message to the whole group:
The Power of Thoughts and Words
It is often quite easy to believe that as a single person, you
are quite powerless. It is also easy to believe that mere words are powerless.
Yesterday’s events on this alias demonstrate otherwise.
When fires began to flare yesterday, I sent a message with a
few items I’d collected from soleil over the years to try turning negative
energy into positive energy. About two dozen people responded back to me
afterwards, including one person who had “flames issuing from my fingertips as I
typed,” acknowledging their own energy inversion.
This morning I realized the true extent of this inversion.
I looked at the office locations of all the respondents, and
was amazed at the diversity: they were spread across buildings 2, 3, 4, 6, 8,
16, 18, 24, 25, 26, RedWest A, RedWest B, RedWest D, Northrup, and Bellevue
Place. In addition, one response came from Australia. Four campus locations and
two continents. I suspect the list of those that felt the inversion but did not
respond spans an even greater area.
“So what?” you might ask.
Yesterday’s events began with a single piece of email which
resulted in a great deal of negative feelings. No matter what you want to admit,
such feelings do not stay inside us! We carry those feelings into our work which
ultimately means that we carry those feelings into other human relationships. We
might be talking to a customer (another human being), having a meeting with
co-workers (human beings), writing a report or specification (to be read by
human beings), writing code (to be used by human beings), or we might be writing
email (to be especially read by human beings).
When we carry negative feelings and bitterness into our day’s
activities, we invariably amplify that negativity. You might become frustrated
with a customer and in turn made that customer angry. That person might then
carry the negative feelings into their work and relationships. Perhaps you
become bitter in a meeting and get upset at someone else, and in turn they got
upset at others in a later meeting. You might introduce bugs into your code
because you were distracted, later causing increased stress as the product slips
and ship-mode drags on for months. Your writing might reflect your anger or
pessimism, interfering with your ability to communicate. And we all know how
easy it is to let the negative feelings erupt in email, which has immediate
power in affecting possibly hundreds of other people.
As all our work ultimately involves human contact, it doesn’t
take very long for one negative thought to propagate through the entire company
and into other companies. By harboring negativity we propagate negativity.
Yet it does not stop there. We carry it home. You might get
into an argument with your spouse, which could be the catalyst for a divorce
(ironically, this was what the original negative words yesterday was trying to
prevent). You might get upset at your children, missing critical opportunities
to encourage their education and growth. Perhaps you are grumpy when people call
you on the phone, or you push off the child that comes to your door selling
cookies in order that they have meaningful activities instead of joining street
gangs. You’re negativity could be the last push that is needed to send that
child back to the gangs, which ultimately turns into the even greater negativity
of violence and killing.
You might also carry your negative feelings to bed. Having not
rested well, you awake tired and grumpy, thus carrying the negativity into
another day and to possibly hundreds of more people. They continue to pass it
on.
Ultimately you can trace everything that is wrong in the world
down to nothing more than how each one of us lives from moment to moment.
Because negativity spreads across the world like a virus.
But so does love.
Consider how the world is a different place when that very
first, seemingly insignificant negative feeling is replaced with a positive,
loving one.
You might have helped a customer and made them happy (will
they not spread the happiness?) Your meetings might turn into a time of joyous
laughter. Your writing might communicate your ideas while making people smile.
Your code might be bug-free, helping your entire team. Love shines through your
email.
When you carry this love home with you, you might find the
strength to heal old wounds and strengthen your relationships. You might give a
few minutes to your children that makes an enormous difference in their
development. You are cheerful on the phone. That three dollar package of cookies
you bought from those kids at the door might be the one piece of encouragement
that carries them into new and expanding opportunities. You’ll sleep better, and
you’ll carry the love and joy through into the next day.
This is the power of a few words, the power of a thought, the
power that is inherent in all of us. One decision between anger and love AFFECTS
THE WHOLE WORLD.
Always believe that your actions make every difference, no
matter how small or insignificant. In fact, when you look at yourself as
connected to everything in the universe, you are the ONLY one who CAN make a
difference!
How you choose to live is literally the difference
between Heaven and Hell, between Good and Evil. Every day you are literally
living this archetypal battle.
I believe that all of this boils down to one question to
constantly ask yourself: Am I creating joy and love?
I choose joy, and I make the universe a joyful place.
